A Child Of Atom

Went to the movies tonight (Paranormal Activity... not as good as it should have been...) and during the commercials before the previews was a commercial for Outback Steakhouse. Behind me this conversation occurred as a result:

Girl1: You Robin went to Australia right?
Girl2: Yeah, how was it?
Girl1: They totally didn't have Bloomin' Onions. They told her they never heard of it.
Girl2: What?! Why would anybody go there then?

Weep people. Weep for the fact that these girls will be your future caretakers.

Weep.

Look, Brooke Shields obviously thinks that my eyelashes are too thin. She keeps telling me, (via ads on Hulu) that I need to start taking Latisse to thicken them, she's even been showing me freaky time-lapse video of her new lashes growing in. This is JUST like 10 years ago when every other commercial was all about how ugly bald people are and how you should take some drug to stop yourself from being ugly... and then my hair thinned! And now I find out how ugly people are without eyelashes... what if they fall out too?! Ohmigod, ohmigod, ZOMG!!!

Seriously... are there people out there SO concerned about how thin their eyelashes are that they are willing to take a drug everyday that may also give you dark sin around your eye lids, and could possibly ALTER THE COLOR OF YOUR EYES just to thicken them up? Where the fuck am I living? Don't you thin lashed freaks have better things to worry about? If you don't... drop me a line. I have some suggestions for you.

My friends and I reached the following conclusions tonight:

1. Moose is NOT the new talapia.

2. Gravy boats are the most transsexual of serving dishes.

3. Our new favorite name for a child is La-a. ($1 to the first person who can pronounce it correctly.)

From an ad in a 1954 issue of Better Homes and Gardens... was there a lot of undigestible food being sold in the 50's? What the hell is with that tag line? Did that really sell Crisco?

This could very well be the best picture I have taken in this series. Or at least the most incongruous.

ITEM! Life sucks without a refrigerator. Ours is all busticated. Some time last week it gave up the ghost, and we didn't notice. It got progressively warmer, naturally, until we picked up on the problem. A few days later we were scrubbing out several hundred dollars of rotting food. Now we get to play the interminable game of New York Supers, and Apartment Management, which I've never really had much luck with.

ITEM! The Columbia Journalism Geocaching article is online! Check out my urban caching adventures.

ITEM! Buy Jay Brannan's new album if your musical taste, like mine, runs at all towards singer-songwriter folksy guitar stuff sung by hot boys. Cute, gay, musically gifted, and a hell of a lyricist.

Okay, pretend for a minute that you are a clothing designer. God comes to you (we're pretending here...) and shows you his working sketches for humans and asks you to design clothes for them. With no preconceptions or cultural mores to worry about, and after researching their builds and biological functions... wouldn't you design skirts for men, and pants for women?

I'm rereading an old book series and I pulled out the next one this evening. Tucked inside was a receipt from March 13, 2002 from KB Toys for two "Ninja Hamsters." What the hell was a Ninja Hamster and when did I own one of them, much less two?!

Ready to have some fun? Lock your door, get everything really quiet, turn on your microphone and play with this tool from the incomparable Ze Frank. Imagine an Etch-a-sketch, but controlled by your own voice, or whatever sound there is in the room. Several people have already mapped songs or TV shows using the tool. It is difficult to control, but has some fun results, if for nothing else than seeing what you can accomplish with sounds out of your own vocal cords.

Have fun!

I really wish I could take an iPhone and create something that was in between this unmade Apple prototype from the 90's:
This "steam punk" MP3 player:


and one of Haruo Suekichi's watches:

My favorite souvenir from my trip to Florida this weekend. I REALLY want to know why Cookie left in the first place, and what it took to get her back! There's story there.

Something sort of mesmerising about him, isn't there? What I wouldn't give to be able to grow a beard like that.

Our cats have been having a touch of trouble lately. They seem to be getting into far more squabbles than they were a few months ago, though admittedly it is beginning to calm down again. Maybe they were just riled up because of the change of seasons? Regardless, Kid Flash and I have been searching for a solution to the problem. I think that this video may hold the answer (though KF disagrees.) Just imagine instead of two rabbits, two cats:

I warned you. I warned you about this THREE years ago!! It's in the low thirties tonight. It snowed in New Jersey and Upstate New York today. After running around in little more than a sweatshirt all weekend I had out the big coat today and desperately wished that I had my gloves. And what did I hear in the grocery store tonight? That's right... Santa Clause is Coming to Town. Sons of bitches did it to me again.

Should it worry me at all that my brain has recently started confusing the keys to my apartment and my subway card? I've found myself getting to the turnstile with my apartment keys in my hand rather than my Metrocard several times. It's sort of an auotpilot thing, like how I used to attempt to get into KF's apartment using the keys to my place. My brain said "apartment key" an that was what my fingers did. I've yet to try to get into my apartment with my Metrocard though... so maybe there's hope.

I have NO IDEA why Amazon is selling these, but I feel that there should be many many of them purchased.

Bronze statues patina to a nice deep brown color. They aren't the familiar golden color unless they are cleaned with some pretty harsh solvents, or unless they get touched a lot. When you look at a bronze statue the gold parts are the parts that passersby touch most frequently.

What does it say then about New Yorkers that of the two 12' tall bronze nudes that stand in the lobby of the Time Warner Building that the female statue looks like this:


But the male looks like this?