Readings By Rita

I found this one the subway a few days ago, and I've been mulling it over ever since.

First off... aside from the horrible mish-mashing of mythologies, and conflating of belief systems (Tarot, Hindu mythology, Christianity, and witchcraft all make an appearance) I can't for the life of me figure out what she means by that first sentence. "This Southern born Spiritualist who brings you solutions to the mysteries of the Deep South, seeks to help thousands of people who have been crossed." (emphasis mine) Besides the bad grammar (is she solving the mysteries of the deep South, or helping you by using said mysteries?) what the hell does being born in the South have to do with anything? Am I supposed to have some mystic power because I was born in the "deep South?" Is this some oblique reference to voodoo? Is there some left over African magic thing going on? Santeria? I feel like I may be missing some potentially lucrative financial stream if I'm not taking advantage of my psychic gifts. Anyone have any "Nature Problems" I can help with? Want to get rid of "Strange Sickness?" I can do that you know. Oh, and my mystic Deep South Powers tell me that one of you reading this has been crossed with an evil eye. I'll only charge you $19.95 to tell you if it was you....

1 Response to "Readings By Rita"

  • Anonymous Says:

    I don't know, but it sounds a little like an ad for a prostitute too...spirit of release, a surefire woman to do for you the things that are needed, satisfaction doubly guarnateed, see her in the morning be happy at night....maybe I just have a dirty mind