A Child Of Atom

There's very few things in my life that actually make me feel like I am getting older. One is that single annoying black hair that I pluck off my earlobe every few weeks. Another is the skin on the back of my hands, which is starting to take on the texture that my grandmother's hands had, sort of thin and papery. But the worst is my knee. My right knee aches quite a bit, and I often wear one of those elastic braces that you can buy at any drug store. Tonight in particular it is very twingy and I'm not sure why.

Over the summer one of the directors, who was also a choreographer, gave me White Flower Balm for my knee. I never used it, mainly because I thought it was silly. It's a Chinese herbal medication, and contains all sorts of essential oils and what-not. Sort of an herbal version of Ben-Gay. I used it tonight for the first time. My knee has been killing me today, and getting into bed just seemed to make it worse. I know that all it really does is redirect my perception of the ache towards the cool tingly feeling that it creates, but it has made me feel better faster than the ibuprofen I took an hour ago.

One unexpected side-effect though is that it made me feel old. I've never really been one for medication, I hold off on taking aspirin or ibuprofen until it is absolutely necessary and unless I am seriously ill you won't really catch me taking much else. I dread the day that I have a daily pill regimen, for whatever reason. This act of rubbing in some strange liquid in hopes of relieving the pain seemed like I was acquiescing to it. Admitting that I am an old man, and just doing the things that old men do. I don't like it at all.