Apathy
I'm in a funk, and I apologize to anyone who normally reads me here that I have allowed this funk to detrimentally affect this blog, but I have.
I'm not sure why I'm in a funk... lots of reasons I suppose.
BFE Michelle is moving away. She already lived 3 hours from me in the hinterlands of CT, but she's leaving me for the city that the Mouse built in Florida. (Otherwise known as Orlando.) I don't begrudge her her success, it's a better job and better opportunities and closer to her family and warmer and her house will probably have a pool, and she can get Duke's mayonnaise whenever she wants... but it still makes me sad.
I continue to walk the line of emotion here at work. The shows are great. We just opened what is arguably the best show I have been a part of here, either this year or last, but personal relationship still elude me. There's no one here that I feel really close to, unlike last year, and that makes me sad.
Work in the rest of the world is also a problem. As a freelancer I always know that there will be dry periods and that there may be months that I will have to eat a lot of PB&Js and ramen, and I also know that I rarely have work lined up more than a few months in advance, but I don't have a heck of a lot on my plate when I get back to the city and the prospect of temping petrifies me, and makes me sad.
The last few days have been punctuated by a nagging dry cough and headaches that I am marking down to the symptoms of some weird summer cold, and being sick always makes me sad.
So, in general... sadness.
Life has continued though. Since blogging last I have been to the city twice, once for pleasure once for business. I have had two job interviews, one of which I got but then had to turn down because of conflict dates, and one of which I didn't get. I floated down the Delware river in a raft. I've seen many bears. Played a lot poker, sometimes winning, most times not. I've seen a movie or two, all of which were bad. I've been downloading and loving season 3 of Project Runway. In spite of myself I've been enjoying Marvel's "Civil War" storyline, even though I want very badly not to. A little of everything, a little of nothing, the way it should be I suppose.
The saddest part is that I must be enjoying my "wallow" somehow because I don't feel much motivation to change it, not that I know how I would change it even if I did.
Hopefully I'll be back on my feet and normal again in a week or two. I promise to try and drop by a bit more often.
I'm not sure why I'm in a funk... lots of reasons I suppose.
BFE Michelle is moving away. She already lived 3 hours from me in the hinterlands of CT, but she's leaving me for the city that the Mouse built in Florida. (Otherwise known as Orlando.) I don't begrudge her her success, it's a better job and better opportunities and closer to her family and warmer and her house will probably have a pool, and she can get Duke's mayonnaise whenever she wants... but it still makes me sad.
I continue to walk the line of emotion here at work. The shows are great. We just opened what is arguably the best show I have been a part of here, either this year or last, but personal relationship still elude me. There's no one here that I feel really close to, unlike last year, and that makes me sad.
Work in the rest of the world is also a problem. As a freelancer I always know that there will be dry periods and that there may be months that I will have to eat a lot of PB&Js and ramen, and I also know that I rarely have work lined up more than a few months in advance, but I don't have a heck of a lot on my plate when I get back to the city and the prospect of temping petrifies me, and makes me sad.
The last few days have been punctuated by a nagging dry cough and headaches that I am marking down to the symptoms of some weird summer cold, and being sick always makes me sad.
So, in general... sadness.
Life has continued though. Since blogging last I have been to the city twice, once for pleasure once for business. I have had two job interviews, one of which I got but then had to turn down because of conflict dates, and one of which I didn't get. I floated down the Delware river in a raft. I've seen many bears. Played a lot poker, sometimes winning, most times not. I've seen a movie or two, all of which were bad. I've been downloading and loving season 3 of Project Runway. In spite of myself I've been enjoying Marvel's "Civil War" storyline, even though I want very badly not to. A little of everything, a little of nothing, the way it should be I suppose.
The saddest part is that I must be enjoying my "wallow" somehow because I don't feel much motivation to change it, not that I know how I would change it even if I did.
Hopefully I'll be back on my feet and normal again in a week or two. I promise to try and drop by a bit more often.
I wish that I could be there! Sometimes I think about the FB and wish that I was there. Though hard work, it is nice to be with a sort of family. I am glad that you are enjoying beauty and the beast? (i believe that is the show that you are talking about). Wish that I could see it. Please send me pictures. I will try to give you a ring sometimes this week. MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!
xxxxx
I know all about funk, wallowing, freelance bullshit, job prospects, temping and momentum.
I get through it by remembering that you really can't force anything and that momentum come naturally.
Your presence in NYC is sorely missed. I for one can't wait for you to get back, if for nothing else, I'll have a unemployed playmate.
Can you please come back to the city! You have no idea how badly you are missed! I want to talk to someone about Civil war.
I kinda miss those wednesday phone calls splitting comics.
COME BACK!