War Stories

The first few days of summer stock always falls into a familiar pattern. The theatre staff is assembled from disparate parts, people from the four corners of the country, different backgrounds, different levels of experience, different styles of working. Usually the only person who has met everyone is the producer, or artistic director, whoever did the staffing. So as people arrive and start trying to fit into their assigned roles a series of things begin to happen.

First is the Question Round. Where have you worked? Where did you go to school? What was the shop like there? What city are you working in now? Have you ever done a tour? Have you ever done stock? Have you ever worked with a hemp fly system? The goal here is the feel out the other employees, to see where they'll fit in the hierarchy, and whether they have the appropriate experience for the place where you are currently working.

After that come the One-ups-manship Round. You have a basic idea of who the people are, but now it's time to test the limits of their abilities. This usually takes the form of several hours of stories about the best or worse places you ever worked. I once designed a show with only a $50 budget. I used to work in a place that used nails instead of screws. I once had to hang from the fly loft on a bungee in order to install a portal. I had to make a car out of tin cans and rubber cement. I worked with a props person so bad she didn't know what an ice-pick was. This round is also usually accompanied by beer. It bonds the crew, like an army platoon that has all fought on different fronts of a war, and now must fight together.

Then comes the "Right Stuff" Round. This is usually performed mainly by the returning staff, spoken to the new people. The goal of this round is to tell them the things that weren't in the brochure, and that the producer would never tell you for fear you wouldn't show up. In a place like I am now there are some severe limitations on how shows are produced. The scale of the production, the methods of building, the effort put forth, are drastically different from a large portion of other theatres. If someone comes in expecting the world's best stocked scene shop for instance... it's best to bring them around to reality quickly. Carpenters used to working with steel, or pneumatic tools need to know that we don't do that here. They have to understand that we can't use tools while a show is underway because the electrical pull would be too much. They need to be told that they will probably have to spend quite a while in the fly loft during shows, and exactly how hot it gets up there. This is a test performed by the returnees to see if the new guys have what it's going to take.

After that the real work begins and everyone gets tested in the forge, with the real heat turned up. The rest of the summer staff starts arriving today. The forge is already starting to get warm. By tomorrow morning we'll all have gone through these steps, and we'll see how everyone stacks up.

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