A Child Of Atom

File:002
Catagory: Boyfriend, January 1991 to June 1991
Met: The Castle, Greenville, SC
"L" Word: No
Age Differential: Me-19, He-19
Significance: Worst Break Up
Reason for Break-up: Distance, Cheating

History: Ex002 and I met the night of my very first trip to a gay bar. (Well, second. But I don't count my prom night for a variety of reasons.) I made out with him! In public! It was such a thrill and a stomach churningly powerful feeling. I was out and proud dammit! Ex002 was actually my introduction into a lot of gay culture. He was friends with drag queens, and got me backstage. He taught me where to sit in the bar, who to avoid (the drug dealers in that corner, the chicken-hawks in that one...) who to kiss up to (bar tenders from another bar over here, DJs over there) and what the symbols of gay culture were (tipping the drag queen together announced to the world that you were together). It was like I was dating one of the cool kids, and at that age dating one of the cool kids... well, that was something!

Ex002 and I dated fairly intensely because we were on a clock. When we met I was home from art school on Christmas break and was returning in just a few weeks. We'd be separated by a mere 3 hours, but to young boys in love, that's quite a distance. The separation didn't treat us kindly. I wasn't able to make it home during the semester, and his trips down always seemed flat, fro all the reasons that distance dating never works. In June I left school for the summer (and unbeknown to me at the time the next 2 years) and hoped to pick up the relationship and the passion now that the distance was closed. Instead I returned to SC to a minefield of rumor and stupidity. Ex002 had cheated on me while I was away it seemed and when I confronted him about it, (very publicly) I got no apologies, and no remorse. He blamed his cheating on my emotional distance during our separation.

What followed was high gay drama at its best. We fought in public both inside and outside the bar. I got him kicked out. His friends attacked me and threatened me. Drag queens took sides between us. He threatened to commit suicide behind the dumpster outside the bar. I offered to run him over if he wanted to die so badly.

And that was just one night.

A month or more of this followed until I decided to stay in Spartanburg, and avoid the bars in Greenville, that was his territory now. The last time I saw him was the only time he broke our detente and came to Spartanburg. He showed up at my home bar in drag, portraying a bitchy shrewish character. He tried to make peace with me and when I accepted he laughed it off and said that it had all been a joke, just to see how weak I was, etc. etc. More drama, he thrived on it it seems. Eventually I began going out in Greenville again, but he had moved on, or stopped coming out. I never knew what had happened to him after that.

Current Status: Unknown. MySpace, Friendster and Google reveal nothing.