Shelly suggested that one of my lists be either 34 major decisions leading you to where you are now or 34 life changing moments. I decided to sort of combine the two.
34 Major Events in my Life (in roughly chronological order). I'm intentionally skipping a lot of things, the picture I want to paint here is the throughline of my life, how events flowed from one to the other.
1. The Drawing In 11th grade I made a drawing of a teacher. I've mentioned it before in these pages. This was the drawing that started my life. I call it that because it was the first decision that I can remember making, independent of my parents, that had a major impact on the path of my life. I was 17.
2. The Contest Shortly afterwards I decided to enter this drawing in a regional contest for high school students. It was accepted and earned me a scholarship to the Savannah College of Art and Design.
3. Going to SCAD I decided to accept that scholarship, and so moved to Savannah for my first year at college.
4. Leaving SCAD At the end of that year I decided to leave SCAD. The reasons for this are several. Partly monetary, partly personal, and partly to do with the political atmosphere at the school during that time.
5. Meeting Carlton During my time away from school I met a man who would be my best friend for several years. He was a drag queen. He weighed over 600lbs. Anything else you need to know?
6. Meeting JC After about 3 years out of school, through Carlton, I met a man named JC. We... dated... if you can call it that... for a few months. At the time I was unaware of what was happening but JC manipulated me quite severely. Under his influence I decided to make a...
7. Return to Savannah When I decided to leave home Savannah seemed the logical choice. I was familiar with it, and still had friends there. So I moved back with the intention of eventually returning to school.
8. Working at Po Folks My first act after moving was to get a job, which turned out to be waiting tables at family dining restaurant called Po Folks. I'd work there for the next 2 years.
9. Leaving the Note Po Folks shared a parking lot with several businesses. After working there for several weeks I started noticing a car that had a gay pride flag on the bumper. I had only been out for a few years, and had no gay friends in Savannah, so I decided to leave a note on the car to see what I could cultivate.
10. Meeting John That note resulted in meeting John. In reality John himself had very little impact on my life, we were only friends very briefly, but he led to a much more important event...
11. Meeting Myrna John introduced me to a friend of his, Myrna South, who was a hotel manager and was looking for a desk clerk. i was looking to leave Po Folks, so the match was obvious. I would end up working for Myrna at 3 different hotels, and for over 5 years.
12. Following Myrna Myrna's move from the first hotel to the second had been an easy one for me to follow. The 1st hotel was being sold, so I'd be out of work if I didn't follow her. The second move was a bigger decision, but I enjoyed working for her immensely, and so I ended up at the final job I'd have in Savannah, and the longest job I'd ever have.
13. Meeting Aaron Aaron was also a "follower" of Myrna, who, like me, worked for her in several places. We were friends and even roommates for several years.
14. Meeting Michelle Aaron was instrumental in introducing me to BFE Michelle, who also worked at the hotel. Beyond the first item in the list this is probably the most important event enumerated here. I've lived with Michelle in 5 different homes, in 2 states for almost 10 years. I've lived in a home with Michelle for longer than I did my father, and nearly as long as I did my sister.
15. Meeting Brenda Michelle introduced me to Brenda, another important figure in my life. She shared a home with Michelle and I for as long as the three of us remained in Savannah.
16. The Death of my Grandmother She had long been one of the most important figures in my life, and her death shook me out of the malaise that my life had fallen into at the time. I had been in Savannah for 4 years at that point and had not returned to school.
17. NOT Returning to SCAD Having decided to get my act together and get back on a path I made the hard decision not to return to SCAD, but rather to go to the fledgeling Savannah branch campus of the School of Visual Arts. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
18. Moving In I've already spoken about the time I spent living with Michelle, but it was at this point, at the beginning of my return to school, that I actually moved in with she and Brenda. It was a turning point, a new home, a new start on an old path.
19. The Miser Michelle was a theatre major. At about 10p.m. one evening she called our home frantically begging me to come down to her university's theatre to help them layout a tile pattern on the floor of a set. It was my first experience of working in theatre. It wouldn't be my last.
20. The Taming of the Shrew As the year progressed I became more deeply involved in the theatre program at Michelle's school. At first painting the sets, then acting in the shows, then designing the sets. Shrew was my first acting experience.
21. Staying In School All of this moonlighting in theatre was happening while I was still in art school. After graduating from SVA I was having serious doubts about the major I had chosen there, illustration. I decided to stay in school and enrolled in the college Michelle attended, joining the theatre department. It was my intention to quickly get a theatre degree, then go to grad school for illustration.
22. SETC After a year of school I was beginning to feel at home in theatre, but was still clinging to the dream of illustration. I decided to spend the summer working for a theatre to see if I enjoyed that. To that end I attended my first Southeastern Theatre Conference in order to job hunt.
23. Redesigning My Portfolio After a day of looking for a job with the goal of working in an office, hopefully either as a graphic designer, or aiding a graphic designer I was becoming a bit disgruntled. Almost no one was looking for someone for those positions, and the few that were hadn't seemed interested in me. Peter Mellen, the head of the theatre department, suggestion I reworked my portfolio, adding several photos from the college recruitment brochures of productions I had worked on. The new goal was to find a job as a scenic painter.
24. Meeting Bob Alpers With that goal in mind I had an interview with Bob Alpers, the resident designer for a summer stock. Bob took a risk on me, an untried painter, and gave me a job. He would later tell me that it was my drawing skills he was really after, and hoped that I would prove to be able to cartoon drops quickly.
25. East Carolina Summer Theatre That summer I spent at East Carolina proved a few things. First that I was indeed able to cartoon drops quickly, and well. And that I had a knack for painting them as well. It didn't take long for me to pick up the skills of a scenic painter. More importantly it cemented a decision that I had already suspected: that theatre was truly where I wanted to be.
26. Taking the Job Dr. Mellen approached me and asked me if I would consider taking over the scene shop, designing as many shows as I wanted, and building them all.
27. Meeting Mike The job put me in close proximity to another person who would impact my life for years to come. I don't speak of this relationship very much anymore. Last year telling the story of my love affair with Mike cost me a relationship, even though the events occurred nearly 5 years before. The short version is that this was a relationship that was at once the most significant one of my adult life... and a relationship that never really occurred. Though it was not meant to be I loved Mike, and to keep my sanity I have to believe that he loved me.
28. The Kiss It was stupid, I shouldn't have done it. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life, and one of my fondest memories. I only ever kissed Mike once. It was brief, and it caught him off guard. And afterwards he didn't speak to me very much anymore.
29. Mike Leaves Town The kiss had occurred while we were both away at summerstock. I had finished my contract, and rather than going straight back to Savannah I took a trip to Ohio where he was working and visited him there. At the end of the summer he called me, and with regret in his voice he told me that he had decided not to come back to Savannah. He was enrolling in the university that had hosted his summerstock. The day of the kiss was the last time I'd see him for two years.
30. Grad School I decided that it was time for me to leave Savannah as well. It's hard to say if Mike was the biggest reason behind that decision, but he was certainly a factor. I was graduating again, and Savannah no longer felt like home. I decided to start my search for a grad school program.
31. My Axle Snaps During my spring break that year I made a tour of universities in the North East, driving between a half dozen schools. When I arrived at the University of Connecticut I made a hard left into a parking lot and stopped moving. My front axle had snapped at the CV joint.
32. UConn UConn then became the logical choice to attend graduate school. Coincidentally Michelle would be working nearby and we would add three more years to our relationship.
33. The Metropolitan Opera My final year at UConn afforded me an opportunity that I had never anticipated, an internship at the Met. 6 months in New York on the school's dime.
34. New York City I had never wanted to live in New York. I had no intention of liking it, or more unexpectedly loving it. But I did. And I do.
So here I am, having followed the path of a drawing. A drawing done in black china crayon on newsprint in less than a minute. The drawing wasn't even a very good likeness, but it was the first major turning point in my path. At the time I was 17. That was 17 years ago. The symmetry is hard to ignore. I wonder what turning point in this year will impact the next 17?
