The 12 Gifts of Christmas

Some of you may remember that I began a project a while back geared towards alleviating my family's complaints that I am a difficult person to shop for. I got one post into that project before life got in the way and I never went back to it.

BFE Michelle has gently nudged me to remind me that it was still in limbo, and I have a dozen bookmarks on my computer waiting for it... so I've decided to boil the project down to the best of what I had in the wings, and re-dub it:

The 12 Gifts of Christmas

1:Gay Merit Badges

I know that I have a jacket or hat that is screaming out for one or two of these badges. Some are more subtle than others, and a few have a more European flavor than American, but their design sense and styling is very attractive, and the meta-textual poke at the Boy Scouts' enforced discrimination cannot be denied. Buy one for your favorite homosexual!

2:The Perfect Alarm Clock
Anyone that has ever lived with me will attest to the fact that I have an almost preternatural ability to ignore an alarm clock. I think this might be the answer. The Puzzle Alarm not only has the classic alarm noise, but has a four piece puzzle that it fires into the air at the appointed time. The alarm cannot be turned of until all four pieces of the puzzle have been located and returned to their resting place on the top of the clock. I do believe that crawling around on the floor looking for puzzle pieces is something that I won't be able to sleep through.

3:Worn Again Shoes

These shoes are made by British designers using materials rescued from thrift stores, junk yards, and surplus depots. They might include old suits, army blankets, parachutes, or old car seats. And they are gorgeous! For the record I prefer the "Jack" style over the "Escape." That button-down flap on the tongue is just ridiculously cute. I love these shoes!

4:Little India by Ghee Happy

Illustrator Sanjay Patel has created this children's book dealing with the gods and mythology of India. The illustrations are adorable, and the mythology has long been a fascination of mine. Either the book or prints of the individual gods, (Ganesh would be the perfect place to start if you're shopping for me) would make great gifts for art lovers, or children that might be interested in a wider range of mythology.

5:The Frogpad

I've never been what you would call a traditional typer. My right hand takes the majority of the work. My left hand is usually responsible for only they half dozen or so keys to the furthest left, while my right handles the space bar and everything else. So this new style of keyboard seems perfect for me. The whole keyboard is designed for one-handed use, left or right-handed styles are available. The designers claim that users can type faster and more accurately with less stress on their hands with this design. Plus it eats up a lot less desk space, which is always a plus for me.

6:PANTONE Colorcue
This nifty little device is the PANTONE Colorcue. It works in much the same way that the paint color matching machine at your local hardware store does. By placing the electronic eye of this handheld device over a color sample the Colorcue scans the information, stores it, and converts the scanned information into PANTONE numbers. These numbers are a universal color matching system that allows Photoshop and Illustrator to match those colors when used in a design created through those programs. It would also allow me to match paint colors, wallpaper samples, and much more when I need to replicate them on a set. A handy little tool.

7:Turn Your Head

The ultimate in narcissistic art! This company takes a specially prepared photo, processes it, and runs it through a lathe to create something that they call a "pirolette," a three dimensional wooden sculpture that combines two of your profiles into an art object. Similar to the old optical illusion that moves between a pair of faces and a candlestick this object creates a record of your, or your loved one's face frozen in time. Elegant and appealing to the narcissist in all of us.

8:Big Tiki USB Drive

Tired of USB Drives that look like little grey boxes, and not much else? The Big Tiki changes all that. This 512MB drive is a stylish and attractive way to dress up your desk and store information. Plus, when you plug it into your computer to transfer information, it's eyes light up, as well as a mystical flame that comes from the top of it's head. And it's a TIKI!! How can you go wrong?

9:Dirty Linens

This product from Dirty Linens might be a bit difficult to describe, or to get anyone else to understand. First you'd have to know the art of Tom of Finland, (as a warning to those who don't that link contains nudity) who was a gay erotic artist in the mid 20th century. Then you'd have to know what toile is. Then the hardest part... understanding the irony of combining the two into a single image, and putting it on bedclothes and boxers. The gay sensibility can certainly see it!

10:The Sushi Pillow

Designers Cindy Tomm and Mel Maghuyop are two actors who are currently touring with Miss Saigon, but as a side business they have created the magnificent Sushi Pillow! It's exactly what it sounds, and looks like: pillows made in the shape and style of various different forms of sushi. Pictured is the Ebi Nigiri style, but you can also get California Rolls, both flat and "unsliced," salmon or tuna in nigiri style or roll style... the mind boggles.

11:Pee and Poo Plushes

I won't belabor the point on this one. You know you want a set too. Get them here.

12: Tetran Cable Winders
One of the only complaints that I have about my iPod is that the earbuds often end up as a big tangled wad in my pocket, especially on a day when I'm shopping or doing a lot of on-the-subway, off-the-subway type errands. Taking the earbuds out when I am dealing with a salesman or what not gets them all tangled. Enter this little guy. Tetran is a cute key-chain style monster that can hang from your bag or jacket or beltloop and provide a way to wind your iPod chords and keep the earbuds safe and tangle free!

So that's it. Sorry to cut the project short, but I hope that these items help with your shopping... for me or for your own loved ones. Happy Holidays!

2 Response to "The 12 Gifts of Christmas"

  • michelle Says:

    TIKI!!! that rocks. is it sad that you have gifts from me and none of them are on your christmas list?

  • Cully Says:

    NOT the one I was expecting you to react to. Not even in the top three. Certainly not the one that I think Sarah is gonna want.

    No, I'm not disappointed, this was an exercise in wishful thinking more than anything. Sort of the internet version of looking through the Sears Wishbook.