A Child Of Atom

File:001
Category: Boyfriend, March 1990 to May 1990
Met: Home
"L" Word: No
Age Differential: He-32, Me-18
significance: First Kiss
Reason for Break-up: Age difference

History: For obvious reasons I have been thinking about Ex001 a lot lately. He came into my life at a time when I really needed someone. I was just barely peeking out of my closet door, and living in a town with a population smaller than the average community college's enrollment. The idea of a boyfriend was something incredibly outside my reach.

We met on my 18th birthday. He was a friend of my mom's who had come by the house. At the time I was knee deep in an English paper and paid very little attention to him. About 2 months later, after my senior prom a lesbian friend of mine, who I now realize was trying drag me out of the closet, took me to a gay club a few towns over, and he was there. She went home early because (in typical lesbian fashion) she had to play softball the next day. I stayed, and Ex001 agreed to take me home. Instead we drove all over the county visiting obscure sites that he knew from his days as a county tax assessor. That night was my first gay kiss.

In the days that followed I was wooed in the most romantic ways that I can imagine. Each morning during his morning jog he would pass by my house and leave a small note on my car. I carried the first one with me all day that day, reading it and re-reading it so many times that the crease in the paper threatened to tear. Every time I read it I was almost aroused, and thrilled about the possibilities. It was in no way sexual, or even suggestive, but it was the promise of something to come.

We dated for a few months after that, me spending many nights at his place. He introduced me to gay lit, gay cinema, alternative music, and Anne Rice.

In the end he and I parted ways, mostly because I was on the verge of leaving town for college, and I think he was afraid that I was becoming in some way attached, or expecting to become attached. At the time I didn't understand that reasoning, but now, closer to his age, I can see his concerns.

He remains one of the most romantic guys I have ever dated, and I have every note that he left for me tucked away in a box somewhere.


Current Status: At last notice still living in the county I grew up in and working at the flower shop that he owned at the time. We have not spoken in over a decade, though I stopped by his shop a few years ago, trying to catch a glimpse of him.

Harp and I continue our summer affair. He's spent nearly every night in the past two weeks at my place, rather than his (company actors get group style dorm housing... us designer types get single, private rooms). Sadly... or maybe happily, I'm not sure... it's one of the best relationships that I've had in a while. He's sweet, charming, highly affectionate, and intelligent. He knows how to return affection, when to snuggle in close, and when to hang back and let me work. We've been to the movies, (one regular, one drive-in, both bad) we've been to dinner, had drinks, flirted with each other across the room while the other was working, and... well... let's just say that my sex life hasn't been this frequent in... well, a while.

The down side? He leaves on Monday. He's 13 years my junior. He lives in another state.

Maybe this is why I never had a summer affair before, the universe knew my heart couldn't take it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the long age of darkness is over, the growing rises of electronica has peaked, and the age of technology has truly begun: My MOM has a blog.

I am not going to link it here, because she reveals some things about herself that would identify me too closely, (Note to self: discuss net security with her), but it's there, and... well... I dunno. It's odd.

I discovered long ago that my mom reads my blog, but decided not to let it deter anything that I wanted to say here. I have occassionally paused before making posts like this one, knowing that she was going to read it, but in the end I know that she has always been very cool about anything that I wanted to tell her, so I post away.

This seems different somehow... I encouraged my sister to begin her blog but it never occurred to me that my mom would follow suit. I'm feeling an odd sense of pride and fascination and at the same time a bit weird about the whole thing... I can't pin down why it seems so odd, but I'm adjusting to the idea. It will be fun to see where she goes with it.

Still and all... the future is here!

Earlier this week the tech staff from previous years visited us. The Technical Director, his assistant, and the former Scenic Designer dropped by to see friends, and say hello, and to generally annoy the rest of us. If you've been reading for a while you probably know how... less than impressed... we were with the efforts of the previous years. None of us were looking forward to seeing these people, and the possibility of interacting with them.

At first things seemed fine. They were nice guys in the end, maybe just lazy or jaded about their former posts, they had been here 5 years after all. They saw the show, and came to the party* that we were throwing afterwards, and that's where the trouble began.

They were perturbed that we had destroyed set pieces from past shows that they considered somehow sacred. It seems that they had been looking greatly forwards to using an oversized see-saw that they had built, and that we had burned long ago, in the first fire.

They were critical of the theatre itself, something that got all our hackles up in a reaction akin to someone making fun of a sibling. (You know... I can say whatever i like about them, but if you say it you get socked...)

They were critical of the amount of work that we put in... "We never had to stay up so let to get the show loaded in..."

In short, they were annoying, and very quickly wore out their welcome with those of us who hadn't known them previously. Why do we as a society have a tendency to do this? I enjoyed most of my time in college, yet now that I am gone I pity anyone who is stuck at my old alma mater... I never had problems with my hometown growing up, but don't really relish the idea of visiting there too frequently, much less ever living there again... The ex that we loved for months or years becomes the slut/whore/bastard/bitch that we thankfully escaped from in the end... While I admit that this is not the ideal place to work, there have been many bumps in the road, and moments that I don't want to relive, I have enjoyed my time here, made good friends, and good scenery. I also have to recall that they returned, so regardless of their bitchy attitudes, there must be something here for them as well.

*I use party in the loosest sense, meaning basically we had a bonfire and all sat out on the rehearsal deck drinking.

I finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince several days ago, the Monday after the release actually, but I have been holding off on this question until more people had read it, and would be able to discuss it with me. Now that I know Kyle is finished with it... come into the comments section, to see a question I have about the resolution of one of the major mysteries in this book... see you there!

Shows here run for two weeks, which means that the next show must get designed, built, rehearsed, prepped and be ready to go onstage in that amount of time as well. Shows close on Sundays, immediately following the matinee and then we have an event called "Change-over." The previous show is torn down, pulled out of the theatre and replaced with the waiting pieces of the next show. There are approximately 24 hours until the first technical rehearsal, which is the first time that everything, lights, sound, sets, costumes, actors are all brought together to see if the mix works. After that rehearsal there is a shorter 12 hour window to do repairs, fixes, and finishes to anything that wasn't ready to go. It's a ROUGH couple of days.

I just finished my 5th change-over. This one was particularly hard, owing in part to the fact that I decreed early on that this show had to be a zero budget show, or as close to that as possible. You see, we had gone over budget on both of the previous shows, and I knew that the next two would need their full budgets if not more, so this was the show that got drafted to fix things. This show had to be an Iron Chef, or Junk Yard Wars of theatre, I could only use what was available in the shop.

It worked out pretty well. All of the scenic pieces onstage were recycled from previous shows that had happened to be in storage, with the exception of one piece that I designed to be built from scrap lumber, and another that was built for the previous show and modified. I was able to find such disparate elements as a large fishing net, 12 yards of camouflage fabric, two steel wash tubs, two eight foot tall square columns and several palm trees and bring them together into something that I hope no one would guess was approached in this manner.

In the end it wasn't a zero budget show, some money had to be spent of course on very unique items that could not just be pulled out... a working onstage shower, and an 8x8' bas relief air plane among them, but it was very close. The next two shows can come together with slightly larger budgets, and more breathing room in what they need.

2 more to go!

One of the first things that I was told when I decided to go into theatre was that summerstock was a veritable orgy, hook-ups left and right and rumors flying all summer. It's true, and then it's not at the same time, like most stereotypes.

I have been working at various summerstocks for 7 years now, and have always gone into the summer thinking that this year was the year, that there would be some boy that would be a fun fling for a month or two, and then we go our different ways. It never really turned out that way. Somehow I have the habit of ending up at the straightest gay environments that you can imagine. I was the only gay student in my art school, the only gay student in my theatre undergrad, the only gay male in my theatre grad school, I have worked at 5 different summerstocks where I was the only, or one of the few gay guys... it defies statistics I know.

This summer I arrived to a flock of gay boys, but they were all... boys. 19 to 22, a little outside the range that I consider datable... and by a little I mean a decade. there have been flirtations here and there, but nothing that I have followed through on.

That's where Harp comes in. Harp and I have been flirting for nigh on 6 weeks, (he was featured in the second of my little dramas), but I have been reluctant, mostly because he's young, and didn't seem sure of what he wanted. But after some recent developments I decided that I wanted to know what was going on in his head, and so I asked him point blank. After some prevarication he admitted that he was attracted and interested, but had some concerns. Putting myself in his shoes I thought back to what MY concerns would have been at his age: that the guy I was interested in was only interested in a fling, or a onenight stand, something that at that age didn't appeal to me.

Turns out that it was exactly the opposite. Harp was concerned that I wanted a lasting relationsip of some sort, something that he says he isn't capable of giving me at the moment. I laughed at the irony of it, and simply told him that he didn't need to worry.

And so, I am finally there... two make-out sessions into my first summerstock romance, and let me tell you it's fun. Serepticious kisses under the edge of the stage just before he goes on, flirty glances when I walk through rehearsal... I'm not sure if it is the quasi-secretive nature of what we are doing, or his age rubbing off on me, or what, but I haven't had this much fun since I was his age. He is leaving the season early, about two weeks from now, two weeks before me, so it may not progress much beyond this, but it's a nice diversion.

File:004
Catagory: Boyfriend, November 1991 to February 1992, The One Who Got Away, several years following.
Met: The Castle, Greenville, SC
"L" Word: Yes
Age Differential: He-26, Me-19
Signifigance: First love, First Christmas.
Reason for Break-up: Distance

History: Ex004 and I met backstage at a drag pageant, specifically a drag pageant for larger drag queens, "Ms. Greenville at Large." At the time my best friend was a drag queen, and he was up from Atlanta to support a friend of his by being a back-up dancer in the talent portion of the competition. The exact song that she was performing is lost to the vagaries of my memory but Ex004 was dressed as a zombie and they had a full sized coffin that they were using in the number. He melted my heart by offering me one of the silk flowers that were on top of the coffin. Yes, I was won over by faded silk flower that had been stolen off a grave soemwhere in Atlanta. I still have it.

Ex004 and I spent the next few months commuting back and forth between Atlanta and my hometown in South Carolina, about a 4 hour drive. I spent the first (of only 3) Christmas holidays that I had ever spent with a boyfriend with Ex004. Most of the night was passed in a hotel room with a bottle of Amaretto and presents. He gave me a set of crystal wine glasses, (that I also still have) and a glass sun-catcher thingie that spent the next year hanging from my rear view mirror.

After we broke up, he and I spent the next few years of our lives orbitting one another, but never completely reconnecting. He was, for years, the yardstick by which I measured other guys. Many of the infamous coincidences in my life revolved around him. It was quite a long time before I became able to convince myself that he was not actually "the one" and that there were better choices out there.

The end finally came when he asked me to do some work for him, through an event planning company that he worked for, and after spending the weekend with him I realized that we had taken very different paths in life. We had also taken different paths than we each thought the other had. I no longer liked him as a person, and was ill thinking about what I might be like if I had stayed with him, and followed the same track that he had.

Current Status: Living in Atlanta, working as a party planner, amateur photographer. We have not spoken since 1999 or so.

You didn't think I would go to the city and not take my sketchbook did you? I only got one decent sketch done, since I was playing tour guide most of the day, but it was still great to break the spine of that ol'Moleskin again.

Today, I went home.

Not for long, it was just a visit, I was only in the city for about 8 hours, but what a glorious day! There are a number of technicians here from the south who had never been to New York City, and today was an "Equity Monday," so we decided to take a small day trip into the city. (Actors equity, the union, requires Monday nights off for the actors. Every other monday we load in a new show, but on the odd weeks we take that day off as well.) We parked in my neighborhood, so that we could park on the street and avoid paying for it, and took the subway into midtown. I took them by Times Square, and to the Drama Bookstore, and then we went into Chinatown for lunch at a Vietnamese place. I had errands to run, so I split off and left them in the capable hands of our Wardrobe Supervisor who is from Staten Island. They took the ferry over and back so that they could see the Statue of Liberty, and then met me at Columbus Circle. We walked through Central Park for a while, saw the Imagine Memorial, and the Dakota, then we had Gray's Papaya and Tastee-D-Lite, and then stopped off at my apartment so that I could pick up some things I needed, and now we are back in the mountains, all resting comfortably in the barn again.

It really was a nice day, coming just after the halfway mark of my time here, and was a great way for me to re-energize myself for the rest of my stay here. Time has picked up speed, and the days are flying by now, probably owing as much to the fact that I am doing outside work, as well as work for the theatre as anything else, but still, the first 6 weeks seemed like 6 months, but the remainder of the time is starting to seem all too short already.

Shikata Ga Nai is a Japanese phrase that has no direct translation, but basically means, "You have no choice, make do." It's been our motto for the summer so far.

You have no way to weld and make steel scenery? Shikata ga nai.

The sightlines in the theatre are so bad that you can see into the wings from every single seat in the house? Shikata ga nai.

The stock scenery is crap that you have to tear apart and rebuild, which takes as much if not more effort than building it in the first place? Shikata ga nai.

The costume shop only has one sewing machine, and even it only works half the time? Shikata ga nai.

Today the technical director, stage manager and I decided that that phrase could no longer be extended to people. You see there are a handful of people on the staff who are not doing there jobs well. In some cases they are not really qualified for the job they are in, and are swimming over their heads. In some cases they are lazy, and unwilling to work. In some cases they are just tools that no one wants to work with. Shikata ga nai.

One of these has become a particular thorn in our collective sides and today the producer gave the three of us the power to decide what to do about it... fire them and try to fill the position, or just do without someone in that position for the remainder of the summer, or to try and supervise them more closely and make sure that they do the work required. The latter is where we landed. As unhappy as all of us have been with their performance none of us could justify firing them in our own minds. None of us were capable of pulling the trigger. So starting tomorrow I have to meet with them every morning just after crew call and give them their schedule for the day, and check their progress, and teach them how to do the things that they need to know to better handle this job.

Is it a good solution? I dunno yet. They will almost certainly resent me for this, but if they want to keep their job they'll have to do it. Will it fix the problem? I hope so. They very rapidly went from a mere annoyance at the beginning of the season when we were doing dramas to a full on albatross around our necks now that we are onto the musicals. Do I have the time and patience to supervise them and make sure that this is getting done? No, not really, but the quality of my shows has suffered and I can't have that any longer.

Shikata ga nai.

One of the more unique things about the area that I am working in is that it is the summer home of the Hasidim. Brooklyn must empty out every year around this time because everywhere you look here you see Jewish men in their dark clothes with their ringlets, and Jewish women in their wigs and head scarves. For those of you who haven't ever been to New York and seen this particular subset of Jewish culture, they are a sort of Fundamentalist Judaism, with strict adherence to biblical law, and wear particular clothing to set themselves apart from the rest of the world. They do not typically come to the theatre, mainly because there is a prohibition against men hearing women sing, and this is musical theatre after all, but I see them every time I go to Wal-Mart.

The Hasidim LOVE Wal-Mart.

Seriously. I see them by the dozens, by the HUNDREDS every time I'm there. It has made me very curious about their culture, what the forelocks mean, what the various items of clothing mean, what their general rules of life are... They just seem like a foreign culture plopped down into the midst of what I am doing.

As with all religions though, I also question their adherence to the rules. The most interesting one being that women have to cover their hair, because it is considered a sexual image for a woman to have her hair down. A certain section of the women, mostly the older ones it seems, wear head scarves in deference to this law. The younger women though all wear wigs. This to me seems like following the letter of the law and not the spirit. Why is it unacceptable for these women to show their own hair, but fine for them to wear a wig that is fuller and more luxurious than real hair could ever be? Isn't that even more sexual? (Not that any of these women are all that attractive, but still...) In the (mild to me, but sweltering to most) heat of the summer these men also wear beaver fur hats, and full length suit coats, with vests and a prayer vest underneath.I guess it is silly to question the practicality of a religion's rules, but isn't a light cotton just as modest? Just wondering...

My career in theatre often comes down to the floor. As a matter of fact, it started because of a floor, one with a semi-complex tile pattern that my best friend couldn't figure out how to lay out, so she called me in desperation at 1 am and made me come to the theatre to help. Things snow balled from there, and now this is what I do for a living. I have spent the last three hours crawling accros a floor on my hands and knees painting a stone pattern, sponging paint into a template, and cursing myself for having chosen such a complex pattern, when I COULD be asleep by now.

I just walked into the house, on the way to the kitchen to get a snack so that I can continue sponging, and guess what? I hate it. The pattern doesn't read from the house, the audience will never see that I have spent a life time painting this pattern, which looks like some sort of odd herring bone from their viewpoint, rather than stone. And so... in a few minutes I will be painting over it, and going with a plain old brown floor, that hopefully will look like dirt from the house.

I hate floors.

Dramatis Personae:

Company Actor: A skittish young man, unsure of himself, but sexy and flirty when he drinks.

Music Director: A tall thin, nerdish-ly cute guy, who is playing piano for the current cabaret.

Equity Actor: Rugged mountain man type, cast to play an older brother in an upcoming production.

Scenic Designer: A cute but modest guy struggling with the happy choice of which of two boys he wants to flirt with more.

Scene: A party at the resident company housing, on the occassion of the end of a show.

Act 1, Scene 1:
Scenic Designer and Music Director are talking while the other characters mingle the party in the background.

Music Director: So will you seeing the cabaret more than once this week?

Scenic Designer: Oh, I'm sure. I love watching you play piano. A man and an instrument is always a turn on for me, of course if I see it too many times I may demand that you start making out with me after watching the show.

MD: Oh, really? Well...

Act 1, Scene 2:
Company Actor has just finished performing a tour-de-force dance rendition of a Madonna song in the middle of the party and wants to continue dancing.

Company Actor: You never dance.

SD: I've told you before I only dance if there's a cute boy to dance with.

CA: Well, let's go.

SD glances around to make sure MD isn't watching then begins to dance.

Act 1, Scene 3:
A quiet moment in the party, SD is talking with a group of actors that includes Equity Actor.

SD: Yeah, load-in for this show shouldn't be a big deal, it is pretty light scenically.

Random Actor: Good, that last load-in was a bear.

Equity Actor: I'm glad I don't have to deal with all this, you guys put in a lot of work on these shows. (While speaking he puts his arm around SD and his hand slips down to SD's butt, giving it a quick squeeze.)

SD: (Shocked by what is happening) Uhm.... yeah... but it's worth it.

THE END

I'm headed into a rough week, lots to do, both at the theatre, and on two different graphic design jobs that I had agreed to do before leaving the city. Both of the art directors for those projects are freaking out a little bit because I a have been out of touch. Most of the problem is due to the fact that I am in a technological backwater, but there is also the fact that I am just busy at the at the theatre, keep that to yourself though. I have a feeling that the next week or so is going to be rocky getting all of the work done. Thankfully I have some enforced downtime during the run of the shows. My character is only in act one, except for a VERY brief moment at the very end of the second act, so I have all of that time to sit and work on these projects. I have to get the work done though, because I made an agreement with myself that the fees from these projects will be going into savings, and hopefully a second trip to Japan sometime next year.

I'll get there... but I may not get any sleep along the way.

I just returned from the Delaware River where we spent the day floating down river in our rented raft. It was quite the trip. 82° airtemperaturee, 75° water temp, with the river flowing at about 1.5mph. We spent 6 hours afloat, singing, arguing, wrestling, swimming, sunning, napping, floating, and just generally enjoying a great day. This was the first real day off that most of us have had since the summer began in earnest, and we were all determined to make the most of it. There was some reluctance to leave the water, but we were all pretty wiped out after a very full day. I'm sunburned for the first time in literally a decade, and I spent more time in the water than I have in much longer than that, owning mostly to the fact that I am pretty afraid of water. Tonight we are grilling pork loin and I'm making a macaroni pie and a cake of cornbread. I'm looking forward to laying down tonight and that feeling of floating that you get from a day in the sun and on the water.

Good day.

6-28 200
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Krup you!

My life is often ruled by coincidence, I understand this, my friends laugh and shake their head about it, but everyone eventually comes to realize that the laws of probability break down around me.

Case in point: About four years ago I purchased a t-shirt, with the intentions of it being a "paint shirt," because I often have to paint my own sets. I found a shirt at Goodwill from the "Miss Chatahoochee" beauty pageant. I bought it because I used to live fairly close to the Chatahoochee River, and because I found it funny that there would be a beauty pageant with the word "Hoochie" in the name. On the back of the shirt is the name of the winner, a Miss Katie Scarlett Lawson.

Today in line for lunch one of the resident company actors says: "Oh my God! You know Miss Lawson?!" It took me a minute to register what the hell he was talking about, but we eventually got around to him telling me that this woman, Miss Katie Scarlett Lawson, was his drama teacher in High School. Someone MUCH better than me at statistics needs to tell me the odds on a shirt that is over 4 years old bearing the name of a random woman being purchased and removed almost 900 miles from the point of purchase being worn and then seen by the only other person in that 900 mile radius that knows who the hell she is.

I bet they are pretty high.

I haven't had the time for a good sketch recently, so I apologize to those of you who visit me expressly for that purpose.

Regardless here's one that I did this afternoon when I was procrastinating on doing sketches for the next show. Enjoy!

A little before & after look at the two sets.

Well... actually the old set, just with a fresh coat of paint and some new furniture and stuff. This one will be up for four more performances until it comes down, (and likely goes to the bonfire) to make way for the first of the musicals!

(Thanks to Lighting Designer Mike for the photo.)

Dramatis Personae
Equity Actor- A tall and classically handsome man with a shocking resemblance to Clark Kent.
Scenic Designer- A cute (but modest) man with a complete inability to figure out when someone is flirting with him.

The Scene
In line for the dish sink after dinner at a summer stock theatre.


ACT ONE
Scene 1

Equity Actor: The set looks great.

Scenic Designer: Thanks! I'm sorry I didn't make it to opening night, I was up until 4 this morning painting that wallpaper pattern so I crashed.

EA: That's okay, Thanks for all your hard work, I'm sure there are other things you'd rather have been doing at 4am.

SD: I can think of a few...

EA: Well, don't worry, I'm still in town for another week.

SD: ....< blink, blink >...

EA: See you at the party tomorrow?

SD: Uhm, yeah.

THE END

Have you ever wondered what happens when you are working summerstock and they are short a few actors and the only available people to play the cranky police officer are 16 year old high school kids? Well! Wonder no more, because I can now tell you exactly what happens... the scenic designer gets recruited.

Just call me Officer Krupke.

Thank the stars I don't have to sing.

Can anyone tell me where to find the food on level three of the original Castlevania game for Nintendo? I'm sure SOMEONE out there knows.

TroutParade
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Last saturday I participated in the time honored tradition of... The Trout Parade. There is a (very) small town here that gets a huge chunk of revenue from fly fishing and every year when the season opens they celebrate with a little festival and a parade. The parade lasts for a whopping 5 blocks, and the theatre was one of 20 entries in the parade, but it was still fun to march down the streets in celebration of fish. Fish Pride! (Sorry... I was having a moment there...) The stuffed fish in the shot ended up strapped to the front of Bohb's (formerly mentioned ATD) motorcycle, which was towing a small float featuring "Ms. Scene Shop." It was one of those moments where you had to get into the spirit, or feel silly, so I got into the spirit, what can I say? The actors mostly felt silly and left as quickly as they could after the parade ended, but a few of the techs stayed around and had some fun. We ate some really bad chinese (a welcome change after weeks of cold cuts for lunch) and went down to the local stream to try our hand at fishing for a few minutes. There weren't enough rods for me to get any casting in, but I did jump around on the rocks in the stream for a while, with the one lone (and TERRIBLY cute) actor type who had stayed behind for the fun. It was one of those great days that you can only really have in small town America.

SetShot
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Michelle, (best friend extraordinaire) has chastised me for not posting the promised set shot, so here it is, finally. Quite a bit different from before, huh? This set is shared by the next show as well, so it will be repainted, have the mouldings redone, and some other touches added to make it different. After this... it's on to the musicals!

Long ago, when I was but a wee lad, and unaware that I was gay, or that sex even existed really, I had a crush on three women. Female celebrities, all of whom are icons in their own way. Dolly Parton, who is the sole female love of many a gay man, Lynda Carter, the very beautiful Wonder Woman, also a fav among the gay set, and Loretta Swit the inimitable Hot Lips Houlihan of M*A*S*H fame. (Since growing up and firming up my sexuality I now know that Helen Slater is the only woman for me, but she doesn't figure into this story.)

Tonight I met one of them. I won't say which, but I will say that it wasn't Dolly, because I'd still be too freaked out to mention it if it had been, and frankly I just can't see her ever showing up here, so you have a 50/50 shot of guessing who it was. She arrived to the theatre early, being a friend of the producer, and I was introduced to her as she sat before the show. She was very gracious, and complimented the set, and spoke with some enthusiasm about the shows that are coming later in the season and how much she is looking forward to what I might do with them. After we exchanged pleasantries she excused herself to go to the bar, but as she passed... well... I'm not sure what it was intended to be... she grasped my upper arm in the way that you when you are encouraging someone or congratulating them on a job well done, but then she... well... I think she patted my ass. Mind you, I'm not sure, and it may have been entirely accidental, but there was some sort of contact in the gluteal region.

I can now die just a touch happier.

todolist
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

This boys and girls, is what a finished show looks like. Those were the extent of my notes after tech rehearsal yesterday, half a page of a small legal pad. I finished them in half an hour this morning. the show opens tonight, the producers are thrilled with the set, (even though I am pleased only to the extent that I think it is the best we could do within the budget and other constraints we are working under) and I am ready to move on and start tackling the musicals that will dominate the rest of the summer.

Tonight begins the true meat of the season. The first show opens on Tuesday, so the next few days is going to be lots of work. Tomorrow is load-in, which for this show is pretty minimal since the set has been built onstage. That will be different in the coming weeks when shows are already running and the set is being built elsewhere. Monday is tech, which is the day devoted to the rehearsal of the technical aspects of the show, costumes, sound, lighting, set movement etc. So everything has to be finished in the next two days. The set is basically done, except for the painting, which unfortunately is pretty much up to me. There are no other scenic painters on the crew. I expected that, but it is still a shock to the system to know that the last few things have been base painted and that I just sent the crew to bed so that I could continue to work without the distraction of having to show them things and supervise them. There's lots to be done. At the moment I am waiting for the base of the floor to dry so that I can get back to work.

The set looks pretty amazing. I can't believe the transformation from the photo that I posted a few days ago. The production values that my technical director and I are instilling on these productions is quite a bit higher than what we have witnessed from the scenery that has been left behind. It should be a really good season. (And yes, I'll post a new photograph later).

I was shocked today to realize that I have only been here a week. When M moved to New York he quite often remarked at how much faster time moved there than where he had moved from. I never really thought very much about it, mostly because I was already in the time slip I guess. Here time moves MUCH slower than in NYC, slower than anywhere I have ever been frankly. A day really takes 24 hours to get past. Part of it may be that I am in the same place for all 24 of those hours. NYC is all about motion, the train, the sidewalks, the traffic, everything is in motion. Here I eat, sleep, work, and play in the same place. My sense of movement has been severely stunted. The furthest I tend to go is to Wal-Mart or Home Depot, a spare 12 miles or so away. At this pace 3 months is going to take a whole year to crawl by. Things will pick up for me in the next few days as the first set gets closer to being done and my part of the work, the painting and set dressing, begins more in earnest.

All around the theatre there are these large outcroppings of rocks that pop out of the ground in the oddest places. they make great places to sit and look at the stars though.

The resident company of actors consists of 16 people, 9 boys and 7 girls.

Median age is 20.

There is one African-American actor.

The girls are 50/50 blonde and brunette, with one redhead for good measure.

There is one straight male (and frankly there are doubts about that one).

If you rank the company by bicep size the biggest is a male at 13 inches. The next 5 in rank are female.

The smallest waist in the company is 27.5 inches, and belongs to a guy.

…That I Miss About the City, (That I Never Realized I Would)
10) Bagels
9) The ability to walk to almost any corner of almost any street and get food, or beer.
8) Multicultural faces
7) Starbucks
6) Living and working in two different places
5) Being able to go anywhere, without relying on begging a ride, or borrowing a vehicle
4) Having a reason to have keys in my pocket
3) That the dangers of walking alone somewhere at night do not includes bears
2) Ready and reliable sources of news
1) The distinct lack of bugs


…That I Love About The Country, (That I Had Forgotten Were So Great)
10) Driving
9) Watching deer walk across a field
8) (I apologize in advance for this, but…) Peeing outdoors
7) General wildlife, crickets, hummingbirds, chipmunks…
6) The smell of woodsmoke
5) The sound of rain on a tin roof
4) Watching a massive storm roll in over the tree-line
3) The color of spring leaves against a perfectly clear sky
2) True silence
1) The sheer volume of stars in the sky (Billions, and billions…)

As an interesting aside to these lists: I was sitting on the grounds today sketching and heard a bird that sounded distinctly like a car alarm. It seemed like the perfect synthesis of worlds.

So there it is... the glorious stage that I will be bedecking for the next three months. What you see is the remnants of a set from last year that I am reassembling into the set for the first drama of this year. It's a bit of a "Frankenstein" job, but it will get the job done, and will look DRAMATICALLY different in a few days, just you wait.

This photo was taken by Bohb, the assistant technical director. Thanks Bohb!!

The Actors arrived today, (yes, you have to Capitalize it). So the shift into actual production mode begins, rehearsals start on Tuesday, and a fast short 12 days from now the first show opens. (SCARY!)

With the arrival of the actors many things besides the focus of the work shifts. The actors mean that the "pretty people" have arrived as well. Anyone who has ever been involved in theatre from the technical side knows what I mean. There is a natural schism between the technical crew and the actors, stemming from centuries of tradition. I am sure that the guy who made the mask for the Greeks absolutely hated what some actor did with it, and that the guy who focused the gas jets footlights always wondered why the diva onstage couldn't manage to actually find her mark and get into the light. Actors are also inherently needy, I think it is part of what drives them to be onstage. This particular theatre asks that their resident actors aid the tech crews, in fact for the next two days they will be ours, cleaning the theatre... carrying lumber... so they will get a taste of what we are going through. They also have a lot of work of their own, besides the shows that they act as ensemble in, they perform in children's plays and cabarets.

There is also a sharp upturn in the intrigue and drama with this new addition. The summer stock hook ups begin, the interaction that leads to confrontation begins. Don't get me wrong, the techs will have their share of this too before the summer ends, but there is something about actors that pushes the drama of any situation to its breaking point very rapidly. There are already bets going on the first hook ups that will happen, and of course debate about the gay/straight allegiances among the new arrivals. Those of course will get played out VERY quickly, I expect by tomorrow I'll know the entire sexual history of about half the acting crew.

So there it is... the real meat of the summer has begun. Let the drama begin!

My sister is leaving tomorrow for an adventure that I am quite jealous of. She has decided that a blog will be the best way for her to keep in touch with the family while she is gone, so head over there and follow her adventures too. She's a bit nervous about this whole thing so feel free to give her some encouragement.

6-3-05
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Here's my first attempt at a sketch for my new location. This is a storage shed that sits at the back of the theatre's property. It has been quite a long time since I used watercolor for anything besides set rendering, so it is a little rough. I'm hoping to get plenty of practice in though, so I'll get my sea legs back.

Here I am, in the mountains of New York, literally cut off from the world. My cell phone doesn't work, I don't have internet access unless I drive 8 miles to the Equity Actor housing to use the wireless network there, there is no TV in my housing, and the radio gets three stations, none of which are at all attractive to me. The rest of the technical crew is of course in the same boat, so we have begun to find alternative forms of entertainment.

Drinking is of course an instant favorite. Tonight we had the first of what will probably be many poker games, (I was the first one out... turns out my 10's and Kings couldn't stand up to the three kings the other guy had).

Yesterday we spent the entire day cleaning out the remnants of scenery from previous years and the leftover bits of wood from the various shops. When the sun went down we engaged in that most primitive form of entertainment, The Bonfire. Why is it that we, as humans I mean, get so much enjoyment from this simple act of destruction? Simply sitting in a field on a slightly chilly night with a roaring fire was more than enough to keep us happy for a couple hours. Joking, and talking, and throwing wood and old hemp rope onto the fire was the height of entertainment. It was good, and we didn't even have marshmallows.

On Sunday the actors arrive and the atmosphere of the theatre will change drastically. For the last few days it has been technicians only, and everyone is easy-going and the camaraderie of a shared goal has kept us together. Actors bring in a new goal, and a new set of egos, and often a sense of competition with us. Somehow the idea that technicians and actors are actually working for the same end goal, and not competing never seems to occur to them. Maybe this group will be better, who knows?

In the meantime, if anyone has suggestions for how to pass the night in a technological black hole, with 15 theatre technicians, please let me know.

I have arrived at my home for the next three months, a small room underneath the stage right wingspace of the theatre... yes, I sleep under the stage... you have to love small theatres. What can I tell you so far? Not much. Lots of mosquitos, some scary scenery left over from previous seasons, my brand new $200 cell phone gets worse reception than the cheapy free-with-plan cell that I had when I visited the theatre a few weeks back, and no... I haven't successfully gotten my laptop to use it as a modem yet. Right now I am using the wireless access point at the Equity actor housing, which is 8 miles from the theatre itself. I foresee this happening a lot.

Tomorrow starts the day, cleaning my office space so that I can actually begin drafting, sorting through old scenery to see what is useful. I fell better about it all than my friend Shima who is doing the costume designs for the first five shows. She is horrified by the state of the costume shop. I'm sure she'll adjust to it, but unlike me she had not seen the space prior to today so she didn't have the three week lead period of coming to grips with what was coming.

Sometime tomorrow though I will find time for a watercolor sketch. The vista off of the back of the theatre calls out for it.

As anyone who has been reading this blog knows I am leaving today for a lengthy season of doing summer theatre in the mountains. Sadly that means no more subway sketches for a while. I'll miss this activity, but daily sketching has become an important part of my life at this point. So, I don't know what I'll be sketching, or what I'll be posting for you guys, but rest assured that there will be SOMETHING on these pages in the months to come.

I will miss NYC, and my beloved A train, but I'll be back soon.

May31Rtrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

This guy fascinated me. He was so skinny and slight, but had an enormous turban bundling up his hair. I did the frontal view on the platform at 42nd street. I had to follow him around a bit since he was a "pacer" but I just HAD to get the sketch done. Then I made sure I got onto the same car with him so that I could get a side view, because I felt like you couldn't get a good idea of his turban from the front. It felt like stalker behavior, but I'm sure he never noticed, the train was pretty crowded and he was distracted by something, I could see it in his eyes.

May30Dtrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

I'm going to do a mini sketch dump today, the last of my Subway sketches for a few months. Enjoy!

Without all of the movement keeping me from having a steady hand I decided that I should attempt a sketch with a new tool that I've been trying out, a Sakura Micron Brush Pen. I've done a few sketches with this pen in the past week or so, (but nothing that needs to be put out into the public). It will take some getting used to, Craig Thompson I'm not, but I enjoy the line I get with it, and the ability to get solid blacks, and more expressive strokes.

Applestore2
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

I spent a nice LOOOOOONG time at the Apple Store today, making further attempts to get my phone connected top my laptop. The basic update is that it is now working on the computer side, but I do not have the proper settings for the phone side, so I still have work to be done. I see some long phone calls with a Cingular rep in my future.

Of course while I was waiting I decided to get the sketchbook out. Of course there was a lot less bouncing and jerking around, so maybe this is closer to my "true" sketching... can you tell a difference?

As a New Yorker I haven't had much reason to travel much further south than Canal street, except on rare occasions. Even when I did make those treks it was usually evening, or the weekend. Tribeca (the neighborhood below Canal street for those of you elsewhere) is a great neighborhood, and full of nice bars and places to eat and a few theatres, but it is mostly populated by financial types and so is at it's busiest during the week days. Today I had to meet a friend on Duane street, (just above Reade street... I never knew!). Getting out of the subway was a trick in itself, the Chambers street station seemed to have dozens of exits... but they were all locked off. I had to walk several blacks south of where I wanted to be, just to get out of the station. When I emerged I realized why... there was... no one. The streets were empty. It was a scene from the beginning of a zombie movie. I went two whole blocks before I saw another human being. In New York City this is a VERY disconcerting feeling. I'm used to the bustling streets and thousands of people everywhere fighting for space. After a few minutes I began to see the signs of life that I expect, the bodegas were still open, and there were a few people here and there but it was still nothing like an everyday situation. The city felt utterly different. Without the people I focussed a little more on the buildings, and the aging structure of the city. Now, I'm the kind of guy who LOVES the distressed surfaces around this city, peeling paint, dirty brick, old signs and posters... but today the city just looked a little tired, like it needed the rest it was getting from all of the people. Have you ever seen the look in the face of a mother of six small children when someone else takes charge of them for a while? That look of relaxation, but at the same time unsure of what exactly to do? That's the look that the city had today. Enjoy the rest NYC, the hoards will be back tomorrow.

May29Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

May29Atrain3
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Even though my best friend tells me that my posts about my phone problems are boring I feel the need to keep you updated since I started it in the first place.

I bought a new phone... step one. It is Bluetooth, and Edge capable. I'm told by the Cingular sales people that tri or quad mode phones don't make that much difference in reception but that sometimes the brand name does, and that I should go for a Nokia for better reception, so that is settled too.

I spent a day or two hunting down the modem script online, since neither Cingular, nor Nokia officially support Macs, of course. After I had all that, I sat down to try and make my first connection... to discover that my laptop is NOT Bluetooth. It is compatible, and has all the drivers pre-installed, but not the necessary hardware. So... off to the Apple store.

So, now I have a Bluetooth dongle, and I have succesfully paired my phone, (maybe all this is boring... gah... I had NO idea what any of this meant a week ago). However everytime I try and connect to the internet the phone drops the pairing, and disconnects me.

My next step is to spend all day Monday at the Genius Bar, hopefully they will be able to help me with all this. After all they supposedly designed their computers to do this.

Hopefully my next update to this story will be posted via my cell.

On my way back from the Apple store today (I had to buy a Bluetooth dongle... more on my continued quest for internet access through my cell phone later) I did several sketches on the train (I'll post those later too). I wrapped up the last one and looked up from my own sketchbook to find this lady sketching furiously in hers. I was torn between disturbing her to say hello to a fellow artist, and leaving her be to finish her sketch as a major transfer point was coming and her model might get off. I snapped a quick phonecam shot, which proved to be the best move because it was she who left the train at the next stop. Hello, mysterious sketcher on the A-Train, next time I'll say hi.

May28Dtrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

thingstatue
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

I went down to the Javitz Center this morning to the Upper Deck 10k VS. tournament. My friends and I occasionally play the VS Card Game, but nowhere NEAR the level that these guys play at. This is of course primarily designed to be a kids game, sort of a Pokeman, or Yugi-Oh with super-heroes, so when I play I am usually more concerned with the fun that I can have (Teaming up Spider-man villains and Batman villains for instance... yes, I usually play villains). Sound effects, discussions of what would happen if the various characters "really" met, and attacks based not so much on strategy as on how cool it is that Green Goblin is attacking Superman are the norm. (I warned you that it was getting geeky in here.)

On the other hand the players at this tournament are all business. With thousands of dollars on the line, and the right to progress towards tournaments worth millions, I guess I can understand. No screams when their opponents whip out a particularly devastating card, no laughs about a supremely one sided match-up (Aunt May vs. Superman), no discussions of... well... anything really. These guys (and I do mean guys, I saw maybe 3 women out of about 300 players) shuffled decks, and turned cards in complete silence. No one had to read a card, or study the text before they played a hand. This was a PRO tournament. Someone in the room was leaving with $10,000.

Now, I'll admit that everything that I have mentioned so far places me squarely in the geek category in almost everyone's eyes. The sheer fact that I have played this game more than once plants me there in a fairly permanent way. However, I was in the presence of uber-geeks. Guys so far above me on the scale of geek that I am next to normal in their eyes. I longed to play one of them just to see how quickly they'd beat me. I'm sure it would be like an average guy facing a boxer, and going down in one punch. I may be lucky enough to land a good card combo or two, but in the end, I'm sure it would be a futile effort. But still, it would be an honor.

UPDATE: For information about the VS Card Game, go HERE.

First off, a big hello and welcome to everyone who has been found me via Danny Gregory's excellent blog. It was incredibly flattering to have been talked about there, and it certainly has boosted my readership today.

Since some of Danny's readership is interested in technique and materials I have gotten a couple of comments and a couple of e-mails regarding what materials I use for my sketches. Right now I am sketching in a very small Moleskin sketchbook. I think it is 3"x5", a nice size to keep in my pocket or bag and a nice size to unobtrusively sketch on the train with. And, yes, I sketch in ballpoint pen. I like using a Papermate stick pen, (apparently the model is called "Write Bros" which I never knew until looking it up just now). I like this pen because the ink is just a touch on the gummy side, and for some reason it allows for a very wide range of line weights. It makes very fine marks when I barely skim the page, and very dark marks when I need it to. Plus they are very cheap and common, and easy to get a hold of, so when I lose one on the train or in the bottom of my messenger bag I am not lamenting the loss of an expensive pen.

So... there you have it. Nothing very fancy, and certainly nothing not easily obtainable.

I've also been asked about people watching me sketch, or people reacting to being sketched. First, it is a fact of the city that people on the train are going to watch me. I came to accept that a while back. You routinely see people reading the paper or even a book over someone else's shoulder, so watching someone sketch must be almost irresistible. On the other hand living in such crowded conditions has also trained us all to respect other people's privacy, and generally ignore each other. So while I do sometimes get watched, it is very rare that anyone has taken the initiative to speak to me about it. (For you NYC readers, if you ever do see me, feel free to say hi!) As for people reacting to being sketched.... I haven't had a problem yet. In fact I am not sure if anyone has ever realized that it was happening. If they did they didn't acknowledge it. I tend to sketch people that are sort of obliquely seated from where I am, so that I'm not staring directly at them. And, if you'll notice in the sketches I also draw a lot of sleeping or reading people who are oblivious to me anyway.

Hope that helps answer any questions you guys might have! Again, welcome, and I'll see you on the train!

May26Dtrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

A good session today, the first that I have been able to get in for a couple days. Circumstances have been conspiring to keep my pen in my pocket recently, but as my departure nears I am desperate to get some good work in.

I have spent the better part of my free time in the last two days researching internet connectivity through my laptop and my cell phone. First off, does it have to be this hard? I mean, seriously Cingular... could you have hidden the information that I needed a little MORE efficiently please? It seriously took me a dozen or more well phrased google searches to even begin to get anywhere, and the pages that I needed from Cingular I found linked off of other sites. When I tried searching for them directly on their website I got nothing. According to them the pages are not available.

The whole thing comes down to a good news/bad news situation. The good news is that it IS possible, and relatively easy. Even better was the news that it is particularly easy on a Mac, mainly because of iSync, which PCs obviously lack (HA! More vindication for Mac users). Even better is that if I have a Bluetooth enabled phone I can do it wirelessly.

After another exhaustive round of web searches, which again yielded little or no information from "official" sources, but rather from news groups and message boards and the like, I began to see the bad side of the equation. It seems that there are at least 5, possibly more, types of interfaces between cellular and net technology. Cingular uses two of these: GSM and EDGE. From what I can understand a laptop and a GSM phone will yield net speeds of about 20 or 30Kbps, slower than the first dial up modem that I ever had. EDGE has the potential to get me up to 300Kbps. My phone is only capable of GSM connections. I also discovered that I might be able to get a stronger cell signal if I had a tri-mode or quad-band cell phone. Basically these phones can operate on 3 or 4 frequencies, and would search out the available ones. My current phone is dual-mode, which means of course that it only receives on 2 frequencies. My current phone also does not have Bluetooth capabilities, so I would have to be tethered to my laptop with a wire. (Can you see where all this is going?) So the bad news is that for OPTIMAL connectivity, I should probably buy a new phone. My current phone is only about 8 months old, so there is no way that they would upgrade me. I'll have to pay full price for it if I buy it.

Further bad news is that all the phones that fit these three requirements, EDGE capable, Bluetooth compatible, and tri or quad mode, are UGLY. They are all bulky, square, ugly contraptions that I will not want to lug around in my pocket when I get back to the city.

So I'm left with the dilemma of whether or not this is really necessary and advisable. I have researched all of this with an exhaustiveness that I would not have considered possible three days ago, and I have more acronyms and abbreviations and techno-babble in my head now that anyone outside of a physics lab should need to know. the next few days will tell the tale. As you can probably guess though, I am leaning pretty heavily towards a yes on all this. I just can't see myself being that disconnected for that long.

"At least this time I didn't walk out saying 'That sucked.'"

"But the first three were SO good!"

"It was better than the last two."

"It was a good movie, they just picked the wrong actors."

"Oh, the effects were great!"

Gee... I wonder what they are all talking about?

Should it scare me that my hit counter informs me that someone with an ISP belonging to the US Department of Justice ended up here after doing a google search for the phrase "I hate books?" It linked them to this post, which is pretty innocuous, but still... the DOJ?

Tomorrow begins the first day of my last week in the city. Well... for three months anyway. I have a million things to do, sets to design and draft, there are still a few lingering boxes that need to be unpacked, I need to PACK to go away, artwork to do for freelance projects, finishing up the temp work I've been doing... GAH! Of course all I can think about is the things I am going to miss while I'm gone. Will I be able to come home for Pride? Will I be able to get decent food? I am going to seriously miss access to Japanese groceries, and Whole Foods, and the Poseidon Bakery. I'll have to drive again, which I haven't done in a year. I'll have to re-adjust to crickets and cicadas as my nighttime sounds rather than car alarms and sirens. Making the adjustment back to ordering materials, and waiting for deliveries instead of running down to Rose Brand, or Pearl. And as I've previously mentioned the troubles of cell service and net access. This is going to be QUITE the summer adventure.

May20Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

RockHillMap
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

This arial photo, courtesy of Google Maps, is the area that I was living during the time that I spoke about in the previous post. We lived here until I was about 6 years old. The red arrow is the former location of Big Mama's house, the blue arrow is where my family's trailer was located at the time, the green arrow is where my maternal grandmother's house was.

Some of my earliest childhood memories are linked, oddly enough, to the smell of freshly mixed concrete. My grandmother (paternal), who I called Big Mama, went through a phase of building onher house, adding concrete slab porches on both the front and back of the house, a concrete fish pond at one side, and she also built a sort of screened in, free standing building in her back yard. I'm not sure what you would call that building... it was screened on four sides, and reminds me now of the sort of thing that you see at national park recreation areas. I think later she ended up closing it all in, but I have a very strong memory of a party that was held in that space, with large quantities of hash being cooked. It seems to me that it was venison hash, though I can't be sure. When she poured the concrete for the porches she mixed it all herself, in wheelbarrows with water from a garden hose, and huge bags of concrete. The sound of the gravel and concrete being pushed back and forth in the wheelbarrow with a hoe is still with me as well. The fish pond was an elaborate affair that went up the side of the house and had waterfalls built into it and fake plants rooted in the cement, the type that you would normally put into an aquarium. All around the sides of the raised pond she imbedded marbles, many of which I was guilty of picking out and stealing over the following years. Of course she allowed me to leave handprints in the back porch, and there were foot prints on the front porch, there because I ran across it while it was still wet, and she didn't bother to smooth them away again. Though the house is no longer there, and I'm sure that the porches were torn up when new construction was done, there were a number of years of my life where that permanent record of my younger self stood frozen in time. It was a nice feeling, like immortality.

Anyway... there is a fresh sidewalk being poured a few blocks from the office, and I purposely chose to eat outside near that spot today, even though it was a bit chilly, just so that I could smell my memories for a while.

officeview
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

My project at work is currently in the hands of other people, the team effort shifting to other members of the team for a while. I spent a lot of time today looking out the window, and watching the life of the city pass.

I grew up in a town with a population that is probably smaller than some of the high-rises that I could see. I lived most of my adult life in a city that covers 65.1 square miles, almost three times as large as Manhattan's 22.7 miles. It's population though is only 131, 510. Eleven times smaller than Manhattan's 1.49 million residents. How is it that I am so comfortable here? How was I able to make the mental shifts that allowed me to move through those three places? What brought me from where I started?

My renewed love affair with the city that started a few weeks ago kicked into a new gear today I think. Spring is finally blooming and I can feel my emotions stirring. Is everyone else as happy to be here right now as I am?

On and off the train 6 times today for short trips, so I decided to do a "face collage" of sorts.

When do little boys grow up? Three times in the past two years I've been party to what I have (not so) affectionately dubbed "The Curse of the Disappearing Boyfriend." Three separate guys, all very different, all very mature in their own ways, who decided that rather than have the balls to call me, (or hell, even email me!) and tell me that they weren't interested in continuing to pursue a relationship they would rather disappear, as if I would simply forget the fact that they existed. They all stopped returning my calls, stopped answering my emails, and two of them have taken the steps to hide their presence on IM from me (As an aside: This didn't work... I DO have other screen-names that I use from time to time, even if you don't know what they are...). To me, this is the worst type of childishness. All three of these men were in their 30's with responsible jobs (one was a professor at a major New England university), who had every appearance of being fully grown adults. I guess I need new criteria for figuring out who's an adult and who's not.

Seriously... guys... if you're man enough to ask someone out, especially MULTIPLE times (in one case we had been dating for three months!) be man enough to call them and tell them that it's off. Hide behind your computer screen if you have to, send the email. Drop the IM. I know this is like telling you to face a hungry lion, and that it's a hard thing to do... but grow up. Be the man that you think you are. Your boyfriend/sometimes lover/date/whatever deserves the respect.

(Oh, and for those who can't read between the lines... yes, the most recent of the disappeared is Snowy. Goodbye, S. It would have been nice.)

May15Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

I'm particularly proud of this one. The young girl was adorable, and there was something about the juxtaposition of her father's massive hands that made this an image I had to capture. I am pretty sure that the father was aware of me and that I was sketching them, he eyed me suspiciously a couple times and said a few things in Spanish to his wife. In the end though he sat pretty still. I'm not sure if it was posing for me or attempting not to disturb his daughter.

M's best friend came in for the week, visiting from our home town. As a welcome to New York for him we decided one of the best things to do would be to go to the 8th Ave. Food Fair. Fifteen blocks of sausage and peppers, funnel cakes, mozzerepas, roasted sweet corn and various other delectable delights. Another day of hundreds of empty calories (probably more like thousands), but I walked a good 3 miles today, so I don't feel too bad about it.

May14Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

May13Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Despite today's fickle weather, (overly warm for the sweater at times, then too cool to be without a jacket 20 minutes later) I spent what my friends and I have decided was the perfect way to spend a day in NYC. We started the morning as 8 having dim sum at the Golden Bridge. Afterwards one peeled away to go and meet her long distance girlfriend for a video conference, two split off a few minutes later to shop for DVDs at one of the many DVD shops in China Town, another left us a few minutes later to shop for a new lamp as we passed through the lighting district. The final three of us walked through a street fair on Gramercy sampling food even though we were all still stuffed. Then a cone from Mr. Softee. We shopped for clothes and hats and sofas and of course made the ubiquitous stop by Duane Reade. At 7:30 the last of my companions left me to go and see a show that they had tickets for, leaving me on my own. The original plan had been to see a movie, but of the two I wanted to see one was sold out until 9, and the I had just missed the start of the other. (Yes I know I could have simply gone to another theatre, but I had just walked from Canal to 42nd!) I decided to retire for the night to see if I could finish unpacking some of the lingering cardboard boxes still scattered about the apt.

It was a perfect day, a nice postcard memory for me to take to the backwoods for the rest of the summer.

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Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

This Asian guy was one of the most beautifully androgynous people that I have ever seen. He looked like a yaoi boy come to life.

The town that I spent most of my adult life in was a tourist town, a destination on the southern coast. When summer arrived the town was flooded with tourists, come to see the azaleas, or go to the beach. One of the features of the town was that in the historic district there were several city block sized parks spread out across the city. To a native, or anyone with common sense driving around these squares was pretty intuitive, you simply had to treat them like medians, and stay to one side. Tourists of course never understood this, and so driving in the summer became a nightmare.

I'm beginning to notice the same sort of problems here now that the tourists are getting thicker. Things that seem basic to anyone that has lived here for a while just seem to baffle them. How hard is it to understand that you simply don't walk three or four abreast down a city street? Or that on escalators you stand to the right so that people can walk to the left? Of course there are courtesy rules that native New Yorkers don't seem to get either, like staying to the right, whether you are headed up or down, on the subway stairs. Tourists REALLY make that one worse as they not only take the wrong side of the stairs but frequently stop in the middle of them to make sure the rest of their party is keeping up. What other unspoken NYC "rules" are there that I might be unknowingly breaking myself? I don't want to be deemed guilty of the same thing that I'm blaming these guys for.

The whole thing reminds me of a t-shirt that was popular in my hometown: "If it's called tourist season, why can't we kill them?"

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Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

Second chances or not... thinking about The Boy sure has distracted me from The Job today.

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Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

May6Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

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Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

I spent an inordinate amount of time on the platform at 42nd street Thursday, so I took a few minutes to sketch. It's harder than the train because people tend to move more frequently, so these are more unfinished.

May5Atrain1
Originally uploaded by Iam2814sGL.

The first of a wave of new sketches. It was a busy weekend, so not much time to upload.

I'm not sure where to start this story... My most recent 'ex'... (let's call him Snowy for some very complex reasons having to do with his similarity to certain comic book characters... trust me, it's a long story)... Snowy and I had a rather brief but fantastic affair over the month of March that ended with him emailing me to explain in a rather lengthy fashion why we were not going to work as a couple, and should end things right then to save ourselves the heartache. I challenged his assumptions for a day or two, but in the end decided that I wasn't going to make a huge effort over what was, after all, a pretty short relationship, with a guy who had decided that he wasn't interested in me anyway. Besides, his list of reasons was pretty comprehensive and for the most part valid. We made the age old promise to stay friends, (something I suck at by the way), and parted company.

Skip ahead a month and a half... Snowy and I were having a small IM chat on Thursday night, which culminated with him asking me if I would like to come over for a margarita, it being Cinco De Mayo and all. After a brief internal debate I decided that if I was going to make the transition from former date to friend that I had to face situations like this, and that now was a good time to start. We had chatted a few times, but this would be the first time that I had seen him since we broke up.

Turns out that the whole friendship thing... not so much. Fifteen minutes after I arrived we were tumbling around on the bed, debating the merits of trying to get back together. Yes, I brought up the enumerated list, which he pretty much dismissed. I am not saying that we are back together. There are a few issues that spring to mind right away, first that he had been drinking before this little tryst, so I don't really trust anything that was said. Also, while I AM interested in Snowy, and sincerely want to pursue something with him, but this can't be about both or either of us being lonely and falling back on something familiar. And as I admitted, some of the points that he made in his email were valid. That will need to be addressed too.

What's interesting is that this whole week has been about getting a second chance at opportunities that I thought I had missed... I'm working at a job that I thought I had lost, and kissing the boy who got away.

Back to the workaday world. The designer that I've mentioned a few times called today and offered me another project, similar to the one that I lost last week because of my prior commitments. It's been quite a while since I have worked a real 9 to 5 type job, the life of a freelancer doesn't really require it after all. Still, it was good to have a place to go and to know that I'll have some money coming in soon to bridge the gap until I leave for summer. It isn't exactly the type of work that I'd choose, (it's more graphic design that anything else), but beggars can't be choosers I suppose.

I love the life of a freelancer. I went pretty rapidly from feast to famine in April, and now I'm back to the feast side just as quickly. Funny how fast your star rises and falls.

After several weeks of arguing with the management offices, including a call to 311, things in the apartment are finally shaping up. A maintenance man visited today and installed the carbon monoxide detector, and the smoke alarms, he delivered the mailbox keys, explained why the door buzzer isn't working, and took some pieces from the leaky radiator in the living room to replace them. The landlords have agreed to prorate the days that we spent with no electricity, and the apartment was basically uninhabitable... so life is pretty good. I'm still struggling a bit to cram all of my belongings into a room that is half the size of the one I lived in for the last year, but the good news is that M&K do not mind me putting things into the rest of the house, unlike my former roommate. Her sense of design, and mine were VERY divergent and we never really came to a consensus on how to handle it. The result was that most of my belongings when into my room, unless they were deemed stylish enough to go out into the rest of the apartment. The biggest point of contention being her perception of my geekier belongings. Luckily all three of us are comic book collectors, and geeks in our own way, so neither M or K mind that want my Phoenix statuette on display in the living room.

Ah... home at last.

I grew up in a rural area. The population of my hometown is 1,800, the closest grocery store was 10 miles away, at the time that I lived there there was one traffic light, (now there are three! Whew!), the newspaper is published once a week, (Wednesdays), and my high school class was one of the largest in generations... at a whopping 75 graduates.

Today I took a little bus ride into the country to visit the theatre where I will be working this summer. For three months I will be in the mountains designing musicals. It's a lovely place, really. Nestled in a valley, surrounded by trout streams, lots of rolling hills and picturesque views. The theatre itself is lovely, there's a great tavern attached to it, where I will probably drink many many beers this summer. BUT... (you knew that was coming right?) It is more rural than even where I grew up. Thirty minutes after arriving I realized that I didn't have a signal on my cell phone. Thirty minutes later I felt isolated and cut-off from the world. The production manager told me to go stand by a specific tree in the parking lot (!) where I mysteriously was able to pick up one bar. I was afraid to ask about internet access. The biggest shock? The closest comic shop is 25 miles away... I no longer own a car. (I'm a NEW YORKER!!)

For three months I will be cell-less, net-less, car-less, comic book-less... I'm amazed at how rapidly I have become adjusted to my cell phone and wireless internet styled lifestyle. These links help keep me informed, and employed, and attached to the rest of the world. Even if I was going back to South Carolina for the summer I'd have cell access. I feel like I'm going back to the stone age. The funny thing is, I have been considering a long hike (Appalachian Trail) for a few years now, where all of these things would also be true, to an even more extensive degree probably. This is different though... I mean... how am I supposed to work? To research without the net? I'm sure it will be fine. I'm sure I'll (re)adjust... but for today it seems pretty daunting.

My new apartment is not as clearly convenient to one subway line as my old apartment was. Before I had a spare half a block walk to the A, or a 5 block walk to the 1-9. Obvious which line wins in that situation, right? Here I am sort of in between both lines, with a walk in either direction, the 1-9 being just a tiny bit shorter (or at least it seems that way). After 2 days of riding the 1-9 exclusively though, my choice has become clear: walk the distance to the A.

What made up my mind you ask? Well... sketching. I figured out that it is next to impossible to sketch on the 1-9. The cars are not as wide, and all the seats run along the length of the car rather than having some that jut out into the center of the car like the A. The seats seem somehow smaller too, though that may just be my perception. I tried several times to sketch and just found that I couldn't. This does amount to basically staring at a stranger for several minutes after all, and this is much harder to do when they are a couple feet closer to you than you're accustomed to. There just didn't seem to be a way to discretely work it out. So, as of tomorrow, I am an A train rider again.